Formal and informal "you" in Hungarian

Every Hungarian sentence addressed to someone signals a relationship. Informal address is called tegeződés (from te), formal address magázás or önözés. The grammar is simple once you see that formal "you" is really a polite third person; the social rules take longer, so this page covers both.

The pronouns: te, ti, Ön, Önök, maga, maguk

Ön / Önök is the safe formal choice: shops, offices, emails, signs, customer service, and any adult stranger. It is often capitalised as a mark of respect, especially in letters and official texts; the lowercase ön is also correct.

Maga / maguk is also formal, but more personal and more colloquial. It is common between neighbours, among older people and in the countryside. Depending on tone it can sound warm or brusque (Maga mit keres itt? "What are you doing here?" can be quite sharp), so learners are better off with Ön until they have a feel for it. Note that maga is also the reflexive "himself/herself" (magát látja, "he sees himself").

In most sentences you will use no pronoun at all: Hungarian drops subject pronouns (see personal pronouns), so the verb ending alone tells the listener which form you chose.

Formal address uses third-person verbs

This is the key grammatical fact: when you speak formally, you talk to someone as if you were talking about them. Every verb, possessive and pronoun switches to the third person.

Two details deserve attention. First, the formal object pronoun Önt behaves like a third-person object and takes the definite conjugation (Látom Önt), while informal "you" as an object uses the special -lak/-lek ending (Látlak; see the -lak/-lek form and definite and indefinite conjugation). Second, formal commands use the third-person subjunctive: Várjon egy kicsit! ("Wait a moment"), Legyen szíves... ("Be so kind as to..."); see the imperative.

Tessék and tetszik: the extra-polite layer

The verb tetszik ("to please, to be liked") has grown into a politeness device of its own.

Tessék + infinitive: polite requests

Tessék plus an infinitive is a courteous way to invite a formal addressee to do something, softer than a bare command:

• Tessék leülni! Please sit down.
• Tessék befáradni! Please come in. (very courteous)
• Tessék parancsolni! What can I do for you? / How may I help? (in a shop, at a counter)

Tessék on its own

Alone, tessék is one of the most useful words in the language:

• Tessék. Here you are. (handing something over)
• Tessék? Pardon? Sorry? (with rising intonation)
• Tessék! Yes? Come in! (answering a knock or the phone)

Tetszik + infinitive: speaking to elders

Children, and adults speaking to much older people, often replace the verb with tetszik + infinitive. This is a traditional mark of respect toward elders:

• Hogy tetszik lenni? How are you? (child to an elderly neighbour)
• Mit tetszik kérni? What would you like? (shop assistant to an older customer)
• Tetszenek tudni, hol van a posta? Do you (plural) know where the post office is?

Used toward a middle-aged person, the tetszik construction can make them feel old, just like néni or bácsi (see names and titles).

Greetings: Szia, Jó napot, Csókolom

Greetings are where the choice becomes audible first.

Csókolom (short for kezét csókolom, "I kiss your hand") is a respectful greeting traditionally used by children to adults, and by adults (especially men) to older women. It works for both hello and goodbye. Children say it to teachers, neighbours and shopkeepers; many younger adults now find it old-fashioned when addressed to themselves, but it remains very much alive.

Notice that Szia implies te, and Jó napot kívánok implies formality. Greeting someone with Szia and then using Ön sounds odd, and vice versa.

Who to address how

Hungarian usage has moved steadily toward te over recent decades, but the boundary still matters. A practical decision procedure for learners:

1. Is the person a child or teenager? Use te.
2. Is the person a friend, family member, fellow student, or someone of your age in a casual setting (a party, a sports club, online)? Use te.
3. Is it a workplace? Follow the local norm. Many offices, especially in tech, startups and international companies, use te for everyone; more traditional workplaces use Ön with superiors and clients. Listen first.
4. Is the person a stranger adult, an official, a doctor, a shop assistant, a waiter, or noticeably older? Use Ön (or tetszik for the very elderly).
5. Unsure? Start formal. Moving from Ön to te is natural; the reverse is awkward.

In some young, informal service settings (trendy cafés, bars, shops aimed at young people) staff may address customers with te. That is a deliberate style choice; you can mirror it.

Switching to te

Moving from formal to informal address is a recognised social moment. Traditionally, the older person, the more senior person, or the woman offers it; the other person accepts, not proposes.

• Tegeződjünk! Let's use te with each other.
• Nyugodtan tegezz! Feel free to say te to me.
• Tegeződhetünk? Shall we use te with each other?
• Szólíts nyugodtan Katinak! Just call me Kati.

The old custom of sealing it with a drink is called pertu (pertut inni, "to drink pertu"), with linked arms and a toast. It is less formal today, but you may still hear the word. Once you have switched, going back to Ön would signal coldness or a quarrel.

Softening requests: conditional and -e

Formality is not only a matter of pronouns. Hungarians soften requests with the conditional (see the conditional):

• Kérnék egy pohár vizet. I would like a glass of water.
• Segítene, kérem? Could you help me, please?
• Meg tudná mondani, hány óra van? Could you tell me what time it is?

The question particle -e adds another layer. In direct yes/no questions it sounds formal or official: Beszél-e angolul? is typical of forms, questionnaires and careful speech, while Beszél angolul? (with question intonation) is everyday. In indirect questions -e is standard in all registers, and embedding a request in one is a very polite strategy:

• Szeretném megkérdezni, hogy van-e még szabad asztal. I'd like to ask whether there is still a free table.
• Nem tudja véletlenül, hogy nyitva van-e a bolt? Would you happen to know whether the shop is open?

More on -e in Hungarian questions.

Sources and further reading

• Carol H. Rounds, Hungarian: An Essential Grammar (2nd ed., Routledge, 2009), sections on formal address
• István Kenesei, Robert M. Vago and Anna Fenyvesi, Hungarian (Descriptive Grammars series, Routledge, 1998)
• Magyar Tudományos Akadémia, A magyar helyesírás szabályai (12th ed., Akadémiai Kiadó, 2015), on capitalising forms of address

Frequently asked questions