Szeret or tetszik: how do you say "I like" in Hungarian?

Use szeret for a lasting like: things you enjoy in general, activities you like doing, and people you love (Szeretem a kávét, "I like coffee"; Szeretek úszni, "I like swimming"). Use tetszik for the impression a particular thing makes on you, and turn the sentence round: the thing is the subject and you are in the dative (Tetszik nekem ez a kabát, "I like this coat"). The difference is not how much you like something but whether you are stating a taste or reacting to what is in front of you.

The rule: a taste, or an impression?

Wiktionary's comparison table for the Hungarian verbs of liking gives the two sides in a few words. Szeret is a "deeper, long-term attitude", an "inward appeal, affection", and "may be ambiguous between liking and loving". Tetszik is a "(sudden) impression, often based on a single occasion (exposure)" and "may imply outward appeal only". Put simply: szeret says something about you, tetszik says something about the thing.

• Szeretem a filmeket. I like films. (in general, a taste of mine)
• Tetszik ez a film. I like this film. (the one we are watching)
• Szeretem a piros ruhákat. I like red dresses.
• Tetszik ez a piros ruha. I like this red dress. (I have just seen it)

The pairs are not interchangeable. Tetszik needs something you have met or are looking at, so it fits a dress in a shop window and a film you have just seen, but not "films" as a category. Szeret needs a relationship that lasts beyond the moment, so on first sight of the dress it is the wrong verb.

"Szeret means love, tetszik means like": why that is wrong

The explanation most learners meet first is a scale of strength: szeret is "love", tetszik is the weaker "like". One popular course puts it as "if you just appreciate something, you should use the verb tetszik, which is closer in meaning to 'like'". It persists because it is half true. Szeret is the verb of love (Szeretlek, "I love you"), and an English speaker who hears it in that sentence first naturally files it as "love".

But Wiktionary gives "to like" as a sense of szeret in its own right, with the example A fiam szeret olvasni, "My son likes reading". Nobody would translate that as "loves reading". Szeretem a csokit is the normal way to say "I like chocolate", not a declaration of passion. The strength scale also breaks in the other direction: Nagyon tetszik, "I really like it", is perfectly strong. The axis is time and source (a standing taste versus an impression from one encounter), and the same course's own examples follow it: Nagyon szeretem a filmeket for films in general, Nagyon tetszik ez a film for the one being watched.

Decision table: which verb for which "like"

English "like" covers at least eight situations. Hungarian has a verb or a set phrase for each.

The fifth row is the one learners miss. Wiktionary describes ízlik as "only used with food and drink", and its example is the host's question Hogy ízlik a sütemény?, "How do you like the cake?". Asked at the table, that is the natural question. A taste in food in general is still szeret: Szeretem a halat, "I like fish".

How tetszik works: the thing is the subject

Tetszik is built like English "appeal to" or "please", not like "like". Wiktionary's usage note: "The subject of this verb is the person or thing that is liked. The experiencer takes the dative case." That has three consequences you hear in every conversation.

The person who likes goes into -nak/-nek

The liker takes the dative -nak/-nek: Péternek tetszik Mari, "Péter likes Mari", literally "to Péter appeals Mari". With pronouns this is nekem, neked, neki, nekünk, nektek, nekik. In speech the pronoun is usually left out, and Wiktionary notes that the listener fills it in: Tetszik? is "Do you like it?" and Tetszik. is "I like it".

The verb agrees with the thing

Because the liked thing is the subject, a plural thing makes the verb plural, however many people do the liking:

• Tetszik nekem ez a cipő. I like this shoe.
• Tetszenek nekem ezek a cipők. I like these shoes.
• Sok embernek tetszik az új változat. Many people like the new version.

Tetszel nekem: when a person is the subject

Make a person the subject and the verb takes that person's ending. Tetszik is an -ik verb, so its first person singular is tetszem: Tetszem neki, "He likes me". Tetszel nekem is "I like you", and because tetszik can mean outward appeal only, said to a person it usually means "I find you attractive". With the prefix, megtetszik, Wiktionary gives "to take a fancy to, to fall for someone".

How szeret works: an ordinary transitive verb

Szeret is regular and takes a direct object, so it follows the definite and indefinite conjugation rules like any other verb: Szeretek egy lányt (a girl, indefinite) but Szeretem a lányt (the girl, definite), and "I love you" is Szeretlek, the -lak/-lek form for "I ... you".

With an activity, szeret takes an infinitive, and the conjugation depends on the infinitive's own object. A bare infinitive or an indefinite object keeps it indefinite; a definite object makes it definite:

• Szeretek olvasni. I like reading.
• Szeretek könyveket olvasni. I like reading books.
• Szeretem olvasni ezt a blogot. I like reading this blog.

Szeretnék: "I would like"

The conditional of szeret has its own idiomatic meaning. Wiktionary lists szeretne as "would like to, wish to" with an infinitive and "would like, want (to have)" with a noun: Segíteni szeretne, "She would like to help"; Új autót szeretne, "He would like a new car". This is the polite way to ask for things: Szeretnék egy jegyet Debrecenbe, "I'd like a ticket to Debrecen". Use the definite form when the object is definite: Szeretném a számlát, "I'd like the bill". The past, szeretett volna, is "wanted to": Szeretett volna otthon maradni, "She wanted to stay at home".

The other verbs of liking

Wiktionary's table puts three more verbs next to szeret and tetszik, and lists several related words. Each fills a gap the main two leave.

Kedvel solves the problem English speakers have with people. Szeretem Pétert can mean "I love Péter", and Tetszik nekem Péter suggests attraction, so "I like Péter as a person" is Kedvelem Pétert, or among friends Bírom Pétert. The bír example in the table comes from the Hungarian translation of The Catcher in the Rye, where it renders "I liked her".

To say you do something gladly, add szívesen, "gladly, with pleasure": Szívesen segítek, "I'm happy to help".

Tetszik as a polite helper verb

Tetszik has a second life that has nothing to do with liking. Followed by an infinitive, it is a respectful way of addressing someone, used, Wiktionary says, "towards the elderly or sometimes towards customers". Children use it to adults, and adults to older neighbours:

• Hogy tetszik lenni? How are you? (to an older person)
• Tessék velem jönni. Come with me, please.
• Hogy tetszett mondani? I beg your pardon?

In this use only the third-person forms appear, and tessék serves as the subjunctive. The full system of polite address is on the formal and informal you page. A famous example is the line attributed to prime minister József Antall in 1991, Tetszettek volna forradalmat csinálni, "You should have made a revolution", a reproachful retort to critics who said the 1989 regime change had been too lenient. The polite verb is what makes it sting.

Five mistakes learners make

1. *Én tetszem a filmet. The film is the subject, and nothing is in the accusative: Tetszik (nekem) a film.
2. *Tetszik nekem ezek a cipők. The verb agrees with the shoes: Tetszenek nekem ezek a cipők.
3. Tetszik a sport meant as "I like sport". A standing taste is Szeretem a sportot.
4. *Szeretem egy kávét. for "I'd like a coffee". That is the conditional and indefinite: Szeretnék egy kávét.
5. Tetszel nekem said to a new colleague to mean "I like you as a person". It sounds like a compliment on their looks. Say Nagyon szimpatikus vagy or Kedvellek.

Where the rule stops working

The taste-or-impression test settles nearly every sentence, but the line blurs at the edges. Once a single object has become a lasting favourite, either verb is possible: Szeretem ezt a dalt ("this is a song I love") and Tetszik ez a dal ("I like the sound of this song") are both natural, from different angles. And in the past tense the choice reverses the usual English one: about a finished experience, ask Tetszett?, not Szeretted?, because you are asking about the impression it made. The same split of one English verb into two runs through tud and ismer.

Sources and further reading

• Wiktionary, "szeret": the senses "to love" and "to like", the examples Szeretlek and A fiam szeret olvasni, and the comparison table of Hungarian verbs of liking (tetszik, szeret, kedvel, ízlik, élvez)
• Wiktionary, "tetszik": the dative experiencer, verb agreement with the liked thing, the polite auxiliary use, and the Antall quotation; "megtetszik" and "tessék"
• Wiktionary, "szeretne", "ízlik", "kedvel", "bír", "élvez", "imád", "szimpatikus" and "szívesen": senses and examples
• HungarianPod101, "Do you like Hungarian wine?": the "love versus like" explanation and the film examples

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